BEHIND EVERY PAIN THERE'S A GREAT PRETENDER

BEHIND EVERY PAIN THERE'S A GREAT PRETENDER

They are so many instances in life that brings us down and broke us into pieces. In those cases, pretending to be strong is exhausting. Faking a smile was so tiring and it is hard to pretend that everything will be ok. But those pains that we are holding for so long can help us to become a better person.

I've been there before. There was a time I'm in a bus, then suddenly I felt my tears fell down, I am in a crowded place but I feel so alone. There was a time I am crying while everybody is asleep because I don't want others to hear me and to know how heavy the pain I'm into. 

The silence of the night was really tormenting, I can't hold back my tears anymore because it makes me feel that all the pain there was in me.

There was a time that depression hit me so hard and I want to cry. I would watch those tragic love stories in order for me to cry and release everything. That was really pathetic and I pitied myself. I somehow wish to change everything but I cannot. I want to go back in the times when I feel rejected, worthless and disappointed but I can not. I want to go back in the times when I made a wrong decision and change it but I can not. Those days are the hardest days for me. I chose to keep it to myself so nobody will worry and nobody will get involved with my problems.

I smiled a lot when there are so many people surrounds me, but deep inside I am broke and crying. They always look up to me as a very strong person, but in reality, I am not because no one hears the cry of my heart.

Pretending makes us look somehow strong, but doing that helps us to realize a lot of things. It is part of our life to feel and experience depression, anxiety and pain, but it is all worth it if we are learning from it. I believe that if those pain turns into lesson it makes us stronger.

It was actually a learning lesson for me. Maybe some people hold on because they believed that someday everything will be ok but I realized that sometimes letting go of something will get us better. We don't have to keep it because it will only cause more burden to us.

Accepting the fact will also help you to understand things. Truth hurts, but if you know how to accept it, it will somehow lessen the pain. Try to accept until the day comes that it will not pain anymore. Try to accept until you learn to let go of it.

Let that kind of instances reminds us that there is no gain if there is no pain. Let's just take that pain as a charge of experience and gave us a motivation to learn.

And to those people who made us feel that we are worthless, those people who rejected us and made us feel disappointed, those people who dragged us down, to those people who never try to appreciate us, to those people who brought so much pain to our hearts, to those people who makes us forget the true meaning of love, to those people who made us feel that we are always wrong and to those people who take away the happiness from us, LET US THANK THEM. 

Because of them, we learned a lot of things that help us grow, change and be a stronger and better person. They are the reasons why we keep fighting in life to prove that they were all wrong. They are the reason why we keep doing good things to other because we already know the feeling when there is so much pain. To be hurt by them is not a loose but again.

Pain makes people change and it is either for better or for worse. But if we choose to change for the better time will come that we can proudly say that we had recovered and overcome all of this pain. That we did it and finally moved on.

Behind every pain there is a great pretender and that pretender will eventually become true to himself and he will eventually see his worthiness. A pretender that eventually became a better person who is responsible enough to handle and face a situation that was uncertain. A person who will build a wall that so high, so nobody can climb them and bring them down.

Are you sometimes a pretender? I know how hard is it but always remeber that everything will fall right into place in God's perfect time :) Thank you for reading my blog! This is Cess :) Bye!